stress management (I said…)

Now all together, take a deep breath…hold it in until you feel that your lungs will burst – no, not literally. Somebody help wee Timmy, he appears to have turned purple. And … breathe out, emptying your lungs slowly letting all that bad air out of your being. Your chi will be refreshed – you may open your eyes and smile at the person next to you.

tai chi class

That was very good for this first week’s session. Sally, I got the impression that your focus had drifted somewhat…How? – because your snoring was beginning to irritate Sammy who had nearly got to his safe place. Well, never mind, perhaps next week you could avoid smoking weed for breakfast, yes I know that hemp is a plant.

The rest of you did very well indeed, so give yourself a round of applause. For those of you taking advanced yoga with me, the venue has changed. We will be in the main exercise hall at the same time, and I would ask everyone to remember that it is white leggings week, and that means bring your own basmati rice please.

Pilates is going very well, but there are still a few places left, if any of you would like to give it a go. Justin is recovering nicely, thank you Sally, and he probably won’t be proceeding with the legal action that he threatened you with. No, I know you didn’t mean to hit him with that medicine ball, but when you dropped it on his abdomen he really wasn’t expecting it. What they do in the other classes you have attended isn’t really the point. In my class we pass the medicine ball gently to each other and nod when we have exchanged the sense of weightiness for the state of ’empty arms’. Now, now dry your eyes dear, your mascara is beginning to run – and so must I.

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